


Dragonslayers' Weekend

by 3L1J4H_D3NN0



Series: Dragonslayer Shenanigans (Modern AU) [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Also Mentions Of Racer, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Back For More Dragonslayer Shenanigans, Because I Am Rarepair Trash, Domestic Bliss, Dragonslayers As A Family, Dysfunctional Family, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Implied Sting Eucliffe/Dobengal, Inappropriate Humor, The Unanswered Questions Can Be Interpreted As Lightly Or As Darkly As You Want, Though He Doesn't Appear, from a certain point of view, possibly?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-10-28 08:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20775428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3L1J4H_D3NN0/pseuds/3L1J4H_D3NN0





	Dragonslayers' Weekend

"DAMN IT!"

Gajeel stormed in through the front door, slamming it as hard as he could. Laxus swore the whole house was shaking.

"What's up with you?" he asked from the dining room, momentarily looking up from his phone to return the younger man's angry frown with a blank, careless one.

"I fucking hate Mr. Benson!"

"Mr. Benson?"

"That damn driving instructor! He taught me absolute bullshit and now I've failed my driving test!" Gajeel fumed.

Laxus snorted. "Chill out a little. You can't afford a car anyway, so why do you need a license?"

"You're just saying that cause you're too lazy to get your own!" Gajeel accused. "Of course it's useful to have one! It means I can drive any car I want, and if I get pulled over, I can stick the license in the cops' faces!"

"I guess..." Laxus replied, unconvinced.

"Guys, it's an emergency," Rogue announced, and had his voice been more urgent, he might have gotten a decent response.

Instead, Laxus merely asked, "What is it?" in a fairly bored tone.

"I don't have any clean socks. My drawers are empty. You didn't do the laundry."

Laxus breathed deeply. "I did it, just a couple days late. You'll get 'em by Monday, so don't stress."

"I need them now. Not on Monday."

"Why? It's the weekend. Don't teenagers just hide in their rooms all day?"

"I'm actually twenty, if you didn't remember. And either way, I wanted to go out. I can't do that without socks."

"Don't you have shoes?" Laxus grunted.

Rogue gave him a disdainful glare. "What kind of person wears trainers without socks? That's almost as bad as wearing sandals with socks."

At that moment, Wendy wandered in, carrying a worksheet, a few sheets of lined paper and her glittery pencil case.

"What's wrong with wearing sandals with socks?" she asked.

"Wendy, that's literally defeating the point of sandals," Rogue explained. "They have gaps to give your feet breathing room on hot days. So why would you cover those gaps with socks?"

Wendy shrugged as she sat at the dining room table and set out her schoolwork. "It might not be a hot day."

Rogue sighed, and left to continue his quest for a pair of socks.

"What'cha doing, Wen?" Laxus asked, nodding towards the papers.

Wendy groaned. "Studying for math. I have a test coming up in a couple days."

"Anything I can help with?" Laxus knew that while the young girl was usually willing to help others, she rarely asked for help herself, especially when she needed it.

"Maybe. It says this: 'Graham took twelve quizzes over the course of two weeks. How many weeks of school will Graham have to attend before he will have taken a total of eighteen quizzes? Assume the relationship is directly proportional.'"

Laxus sighed. "I dunno, why can't this Graham work it out his own damn self?"

"Because he's a character in the question."

"And why the hell is he taking so many quizzes? Is he just a quiz geek or something?"

"Laxus, your missing the point of the question," Wendy said awkwardly.

"Right, right." Laxus took a look at the question a little longer before coming up with a conclusion. "It's three."

"Oh. Okay," Wendy replied, not expecting him to just give her the answer.

"It's not hard, it's just common sense, really," the blond man explained.

"Yeah, but you're older, so of course it's not hard for you."

"Good point," Laxus admitted.

"SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!!!"

The three siblings currently in the dining room raised their heads at the sound of perpetual swearing upstairs.

"Sounds like Natsu's up, then," Gajeel observed.

"Yeah, lemme go see what the fuck he's done," Laxus replied, deciding for once to be a Responsible Adult because Natsu sounded like he was in pain or something.

Wendy watched him leave before returning to the daunting task of math revision. Before she could even get her pen on the paper, however, another one of her brothers slid into the room, looking as fabulous as ever.

"Morning, all!" Sting greeted the room, seeming to not care that there were only two other people to hear him. "What's up?"

"Math work. I'm failing eighth grade," Wendy answered sullenly.

"Aww, don't worry, at least you're not like me, failing university," Sting told her, sliding into another empty seat.

"You're failing uni?" Gajeel asked.

"Yep!" Sting appeared to be, if anything, amused by his own situation.

Wendy looked at him, suddenly concerned. "If you drop out, won't you not be able to see your ninja boyfriend?"

"Ninja boyfriend?" Gajeel repeated.

Sting waved away her worries. "Nah, we can see each other at different times, it's fine."

"Is someone going to tell me about this 'ninja boyfriend'?" Gajeel demanded, not enjoying being the only one to not know this information.

"I have a boyfriend," Sting began.

"Right."

"And he wears a ninja mask," Sting continued.

"No-one's ever seen his real face!" Wendy added.

"Huh." This all sounded a bit... made up.

"That's about it," Sting finished.

"Okay, then," Gajeel wasn't sure if he believed any of that, but Sting and Wendy could keep talking about ninja boyfriends for all he cared.

They started to hear heavy stomping coming downstairs, two sets of feet by the sound of it.

Through the door came Laxus, holding up a dishevelled, bloody Natsu, who in turn was holding a handful of scrunched up tissues to his nose.

Ah, the dreaded nosebleed.

Laxus quickly set the boy down on a free chair before finding a box of tissues, and the trash can and bringing both to Natsu's side.

"Heya, guys," the pink-haired teenager mumbled through the wad of tissue, sounding less than enthusiastic about his predicament.

"Hey," Wendy replied, pulling her stuff further away from her brother, in case any blood were to get on the table.

"What happened to you?" Sting asked, half concerned and half amused.

"Well, I woke up, and my nose was kinda itching, so I stuck my finger in to pull out whatever was in there, but I guess I dug too far-"

"All that blood, just from picking your nose?!" Laxus yelled. "It looks like someone's just died in your room and you're telling me you simply stuck your finger into your nose too deep?!"

Wendy giggled.

"Don't laugh, Wendy," Laxus stopped her. "Take this as a warning of what happens when you pick your nose."

"I don't really-"

"As your responsible guardian, it's my job to make sure you sustain as little injury as possible. That includes blood loss." Laxus jabbed a finger at Wendy.

"You're only allowed to bleed from one place and you're only allowed to do it once a month!"

Wendy blinked. "What place?"

Taken aback slightly, Laxus began, "Y'know, your um... uhhh..." Why couldn't he say it? What the fuck! Why was it so hard?!

Wendy smiled. "Don't worry, I know what you mean. I have to deal with it every month, silly!"

Laxus froze, unable to decide whether he was more relieved or embarrassed. Deciding he was more relieved, he let out the breath he had been holding. His brothers decided to let out the laughter they were holding in, too.

"Also, Laxus, next time you go shopping, can you get me some more pads? I'm running out."

Laxus choked on his own spit.

"Fine, whatever. I don't usually say this to you, but fuck you, Wendy."

"No way," Wendy grinned, "We're both gay and our ages are so different, it'd just be weird."

"I didn't mean it like-"

Natsu, Gajeel and Sting were practically roaring at this point.

"Don't bother, Laxus," Gajeel managed, "She's totally roasting you!"

At that moment, the front door was flung open. It hit the wall with a crash that was drowned out by the inhumane cackling coming from the man who had just entered.

"I'M BACK, BITCHES!" Cobra yelled through his own laughter, his heavy boots thudding into the kitchen.

Everyone looked up.

"Hey, Cobra," Laxus greeted emotionlessly.

"What did you do?" Wendy asked, as it was clear Cobra had been off on another law-defying misadventure. Which sounded quite fun in theory, but wasn't something you were supposed to go through with.

"Yer man Cobra just took his new wheels for a spin, and managed to pass a hundred miles an hour," Cobra boasted, pointing out of the window at his 'new wheels'.

Wendy and the others followed his finger for their eyes to fall on the shittiest Honda Civic they had ever seen. It was a dark metallic red in colour but Cobra had spray painted a snake on the side in lime green.

"That piece of shit reached a hundred miles per hour?" Gajeel repeated in disbelief.

"That 'piece of shit' is the Cobramobile VII," Cobra stated proudly.

"What happened to the Cobramobiles I through VI?" Sting asked.

"They were damaged beyond repair."

"You mean you crashed them while speeding," Laxus corrected.

"Yeah, that. The Cobramobile IV is how I got this." Cobra pointed to the scar that ran through his right eye. "It was pretty exciting, really."

Natsu, Wendy and Sting all gasped in wonder. Gajeel scoffed, clearly not seeing the excitement in putting your life at risk simply because you're an idiot.

"Course, I'm still nowhere near beating Racer's record," Cobra added modestly.

"Racer?" Laxus questioned.

"One of my boys," Cobra explained. "The guy's been over two hundred on his motorcycle. Honestly, just respect that dude a lot."

"So much respect," Sting and Wendy agreed, Natsu nodding with them.

Laxus decided to ignore Cobra's undecipherable gushing about his 'boy'. "Anyway, don't you have work today?"

"Nah, my client cancelled last minute," Cobra waved him away.

"Client?" Wendy asked. "What for?"

"Ah, nothing, just work shit, that's all."

Laxus raised an eyebrow.

Gajeel then got up from his position leaning against the wall, and headed for the stairs. "Well, see ya, I'm gonna go play my guitar."

Everyone groaned.

"Laxus," Natsu struggled through clumps of tissue, "Can you get Gajeel's room soundproofed?"

"I wish," the blond replied.

It had taken a good while, but Rogue finally emerged, clad in black jeans and a black hoodie and... pink socks.

"Hey, those are mine!" Sting called to him.

"Sorry, but I had no other choice," Rogue responded.

"Where are you going?" Laxus demanded.

"Out," Rogue said simply, slipping on his black trainers and darting out of the house.

Who the hell knew where he was off to...

"Laxus, the bleeding stopped." Natsu pulled the red-soaked tissue paper from his nose and dropped it in the bin.

"Right, okay, you should go clean your face up, it's still a mess." Laxus began clearing things away, while Natsu plodded up to the bathroom to wash his face.

"Well," Cobra spoke up, "I'm gonna go to my room for a bit."

"Yeah, me too," Sting added, and with that they were gone, leaving Wendy alone in the kitchen.

Finally she could actually do some work...

Only... what was it? Oh, only fifteen questions left. Right. That was going to take all afternoon...


End file.
